Too Late, Too Soon
by zephyrchild
Summary: What if it was too late, then it wasn't? 'What ifs' ruin lives, break hearts, and bring tragedy, unsure if you're living or dying... Then at last it is clear, but for how long?
1. Chapter 1

She knew what she was doing; she didn't think that she'd live long enough after to be brought in by a raptor. She saw blurred corridors slide past her eyes. Felt the excruciating pain in her legs, her back. She moaned only to hear the chatter of nervous medics.

She'd taken down that stupid missile, and four cylon raiders. In part of her mind she was still the triumphant victor, but she knew her injuries were bad, maybe too bad. She didn't remember much about the raptor ride back to Galactica, flashes of pain, and whispers of concern. In some dark part of her mind she admitted to herself that life was likely over for her.

She arrived in the medical bay more quickly than she expected, she closed her eyes, savoring the last moments of her life. She was still breathing, she affirmed as she heard a medic saying the same thing. She felt pressure on her hand, her face, and her eyes opened slowly. She didn't need to see clearly to know who it was.

"You…"

"Shh…" His hand caressed her hair.

"I…"

"It's okay, you're fine," he managed to say with tears in is eyes, then he said something else much louder, " Lee Adama loves Kara Thrace."

She managed a weak smile, lifting her uninjured hand to touch his face, "Kara Thrace loves Lee Adama." She managed to say, clearly enough for those closest to them to here.

A wry voice interrupted them, "Now that the love confession of the year is over, move it and let me do my job."

Lee managed to hold her hand a moment longer before Doc Cottle pushed him forcefully out of the way.

Kara could still see him, a few moments longer before her eyes closed again.

When she awoke, there was a distinct numbness, the first thought to drift across her drugged mind was Lee, second was that she was still alive, at least for the moment.

"Lee…"

"I'm here."

"How long?"

"28 hours, you've been in surgery, they've been repairing the damage."

"And?"

"And what?" Lee's eyes were red, he'd been crying, at least her vision was a bit better.

"I know its not good Lee."

"So its not, but we're both still here Kara, and I love you."

"I must be dying."

"Not today Kara," another familiar voice echoed towards her Bill Adama looked at her, "Not today."

"But?"

"That's enough for now Kara just rest."

Lee's hand found hers again, and he leaned forward to kiss her. And he did, tenderly. "I'll be here when you wake up again Kara."

Kara wasn't sure if she was dying or not, just that she was tired, and drugged, so she let herself fall asleep, to the sounds of concerned voices she just couldn't make out.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

She drifted in and out of consciousness for seemingly endless amount of time punctuated my sensations of intense pain, and the touch of a hand on hers. Light, dark and time had no meaning; she doubted she could tell how long she had been in the sick bay. Then a light seemed to flood the room, but her eyes couldn't close. She felt a floating sensation and saw herself lying, plagued with bandages on the bed below. She had died, not a pleasant thought.

A slender hand took hers, and suddenly she was in a room filled with light. The goddess in front of her smiled, at least she though it was a goddess. Kara spoke one word: "Artemis?" which was returned by a nod. The goddess stroked her cheek and led her through an expanse of light, towards a darker form. Kara felt content, exposed and terrified all at once. She was still unable to think clearly, about anything. The form turned around, wordlessly, the goddess placed her hand in that of Lee Adama. The goddess held their hands together for a moment, then Kara found herself alarmingly staring into her own eyes, before the vision faded to black.

Kara struggled to open her eyes, when she did, she saw Lee sleeping beside her bed in a chair, his head against the wall and his mouth hanging open in a completely unpleasant fashion. Despite the grimness of the situation, Kara giggled madly from her place on the bed. Lee awoke with a start, banging his foot against the wall as he did so, causing Kara to giggle louder.

Doc Cottle turned the corner before muttering around his home rolled cigarette, "That's it, no more morpha, and just a heart monitor for now, you're condition is stable Thrace." Then he turned back to another task, likely rolling more cigarettes on his desk.

"Kara," Lee said taking her hand, "It's been three weeks since the last time you've said anything intelligible or even looked alert, but, this is good, you're through the worst of it."

"So, I'm going to live?"

"Yeah, and I don't know how you pulled it off, with infections from the cuts, and blood loss, we actually had to have a blood drive, and the tubes are all out, just a heart monitor left now Kara."

"When will I be back in my viper?"

Lee leaned over and kissed Kara tenderly, she was annoyed by the distraction technique, it wasn't a good sign, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. "Kara, your lower legs took the worst of the damage, it may be a long time before…"

At this point he was cut off by a rather irritated Doc Cottle, "Never, you may never fly again," If he actually showed emotion, Kara supposed this would be exasperation, seemingly directed at Lee.

Lee looked more concerned as he observed Kara for a hint of emotion; she grabbed him into a hug, hanging on to him, as she attempted to comprehend with a partially drugged brain what exactly had been said.

During the next few hours Kara said nothing, but held onto Lee, who managed to find a way to sit on the bed so he could just hold onto her, like it might keep her with him. Doc Cottle went to his quarters at the end of his shift, and a medic worked quietly in the darkened room of a simulated night.

"Lee?"

"Yes?"

"If I never get to fly again than…"

"Don't worry about that now, just concentrate on recovering, then we can tackle that."

"Lee, if I can't fly, then I need something else."

"Hmm?"

Kara returned the noise with a kiss, drawing Lee closer, running her fingers through his hair, and pushing herself against him. She needed to forget for a few minutes, no matter how fleeting, and she needed to affirm she was still alive.

Lee broke the kiss, "Kara you can't be serious; we're in sick bay." His voice was a whisper, which betrayed both nervousness and desire

"Kara, you're injured, I might…"

"Try." She responded, "Come on Lee, frak me." Kara put one of her hands somewhere that would ensure Lee would see her seriousness; she caressed him through his pants.

"Kara…" he responded with a sound somewhere between a groan and gasp, pulling away.

Kara thought fast, she knew what would change his mind, "Make love to me Lee." That was one request she knew he wouldn't deny. She hadn't particularly wanted to say it, but it was necessary, she wanted Lee.

"Kara…" he sighed, much calmer, kissing her with more passion. He attempted lean on her body, which was met by a gasp of pain. He adjusted so that he was supporting most of his own weight. He got off her, which made her grimace, her body was already beginning to respond to him, and she had no desire to stop. She was relieved when she saw him close the curtain, before kneeling at the end of her bed, leaning forward to kiss her face and neck, and she responded with equal passion. For a few minutes, they were content to caress each other, their mouths only reluctantly leaving each other to kiss other places. She reached her hand towards his pants and he responded by dropping them, pausing to remove his shoes, and crawling up further on the bed, raising his arms and permitting her to remove his shirt, which she did quickly, as she adjusted her body to better accommodate him, which he had to help her position her injured legs which made her gasp and made him nervous. The hospital gown she was wearing, was very accommodating and needn't be removed. He was tentative about getting on top of her; he lowered himself as gently as possible, everything about him portraying nervousness. She encouraged him with her hands, pulling him closer.

He entered her smoothly, cautiously, then again the same cautious movement.

"Lee, don't hold back." She whispered.

They worked up a rhythm, which was slow, but passionate. She had always been good at containing her moans during sex, but with Lee she made an exception, she let herself moan and gasp into his insistent mouth as he continued to work her body, which despite being injured seemed to co-operate rather well. Finally, she felt herself come, moaning his name, "Lee…" he moved faster than before, and then, he too came and collapsed on top of her for a moment causing her to grimace and yelp in pain. The sudden pressure of Lee's body against her tender scars had a terrible effect.

"I'm sorry Kara, I didn't mean to put all my weight on you like that, are you alright?" His voice was breathless.

"Yes, I'm okay now, don't move suddenly." She answered, equally short of breath, still gasping.

"I love you." He said kissing her tenderly on the mouth, letting himself linger on top of her.

It was still hard to answer that, but Kara made herself say it, "I love you." No matter how many times she said it to Lee, it didn't seem to get easier, not that she didn't love him, but saying it was hard. She held on to Lee, before her not-so-drugged brain reached a conclusion, as her memory seemed to fail her prior, she recalled that Lee was still married to Dualla, and she was still awaiting recognition of a legal divorce, although the separation was finally official. She had made an adulterer out of her best friend.

The same conclusion seemed to reach Lee, the exact ramifications of what they had just done. He got up slowly, adjusting Kara first so that she was adequately covered before pulling on his own boxers. Kara rethought the same conclusion reaching Lee when he crawled back onto the bed and nestled himself against Kara, he seemed to rethink her confusion.

"Just in case someone wanders in here, I thought we should cover up."

Kara didn't want to say anything; she just let him hold on to her, as they both fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Nothings mine except the plot. I am a teenager who is really, really frightened of lawyers, don't sue me.

Kara awoke much later to a brighter sick bay. Lee was gone; she thought with a stab of annoyance, he said he'd stay with her. Doc Cottle was looking at her with an expression of much interest.

"Where's Lee?"

"He had something to take up with the Admiral, he'll be back, in the meantime, why don't you tell me what happened to your heart rate readouts from last night."

"No idea." Kara silently thanked Lee, she glanced over at the readout, and it was torn off, no proof whatsoever. "Why don't you ask the medic who was on duty?"

"She was so hyped up on 'New Caprica's finest' and booze she couldn't tell the difference between a dog and a centurion."

Kara looked at Doc Cottle with what she hoped was a clueless expression.

"Anyways, Thrace, sit up."

"What?"

"If you're well enough to do what I'm convinced you and Major Adama did last night than you're sure as hell well enough to sit up." Kara pulled herself into a seated position, and used her arms to pull herself back on the bed. She noticed some bandages had been removed while she had slept, revealing red scars in web-like patterns on her legs, and cutting through her marriage tattoo on her shoulder, it was practically unrecognizable. Casts obscured both of her ankles, and her lower legs had more scars than the Admiral.

"Its really amazing, one piece of that raider a centimetre closer to your spine and you'd have never been able to sit up again," Doc Cottle blabbed on ignoring the disturbed expression Kara wore on her face; "Good, recovery right on schedule, bend your knees."

Kara struggled to lift and bend her knees, which she accomplished.

Kara was bored through the rest of the examinations and demands, some of which were unreasonable. She wondered where Lee had gone, and if he'd been discovered in his boxers in the morning. Then she sat still as her casts were removed, the real work was about to begin.

Lee sat in Bill Adama's office, listening to the same questions.

"Lee, this is getting ridiculous."

"I told you I'd never forgive you if you didn't let me sit with her, I should be there now, I told her I wouldn't leave."

"Kara Thrace is an officer, she knows that the military takes precedence over its officers."

"Not to me."

Bill Adama paused a moment, he took a sip of ambrosia from a glass on his coffee table, "I need to have my CAG back, Lee, he has responsibilities, and a wife he hasn't spoken to in weeks." Bill regarded Lee in silence, taking another long swig from his glass on the coffee table, "I'm having Captain Thrace taken off active duty until further notice and transferred to the Rising Star, where they have facilities that will be of use to her."

"You can't do that," Lee exploded at his father, "Kara belongs here, with us."

"She'll be going in a raptor this afternoon, beginning physiotherapy and returning when she is able to walk, she can still be valuable to the fleet as an officer, if not a pilot."

Lee stood up and began to pace, "Then I'm going with her."

"Lee, you know I can't do that, the cylons will find us again, and when they do I need my pilots here."

"No." Lee answered simply.

"I have to send a pilot with her in the raptor, I'd rather it be you, but I'll send Racetrack or Athena."

"I'll go."

"But I need you to promise you'll return, promptly."

"Yes, sir." Lee answered, failing to mask the anger in his voice.

"You can visit her, as long as it doesn't interfere with your duties." Bill added quietly, in a tone that clearly meant leave, before he changed his mind. Avoiding Lee's eyes. He could still not understand how Lee could love Kara, the woman who had loved Zak. Lee saw this plainly, his father refused to see what had been right in front him all these years.

Lee walked quickly through the hallways, he saw his wife out of the corner of his eyes, but he kept walking, the last thing he needed right now was to deal with her. He went into sickbay to find Kara Thrace dressed, sitting on her hospital bed. She wore her military sweats, the bandages were off, accept the new ones on her ankles. "Lee, where did you go?"

"Kara, I'm sorry, my dad needed to talk to me."

"Did you here they're shipping me out?" She said, somewhat more quietly. "But I have to come back for tests, and transfusions, something about cylon technology coming in contact with my blood."

"Yeah. I'm coming with you."

Her eyes met his, questioning, probing, she was answered with a kiss. His hands went to her back, holding her upper body against him, pulling her into a hug. She felt safe, until he let go. Two unfamiliar medics lifted her into a wheelchair. This bothered her, made her feel helpless; she clung to Lee's hand; who seemed to understand and squeezed her hand back.

Kara was silent as he pushed the wheelchair through the halls; she got some applause from some pilots who thought she'd done a good job taking out those last few raiders. Two medics followed behind Lee. The reached the hangar deck, where luckily due to large amounts of work, they were barely noticed, and the two medics lifted her out of the chair, and carried her onto the raptor, as they did so Kara attempted to hide her face from Lee, it hadn't worked, she soon ascertained that he had seen the look of embarrassment there. The medics placed her in the co-pilot seat and buckled her in. Lee took his seat, Kara noticed an odd looking piece of paper shoved in the top of one of his boots, she was willing to bet it was the missing readouts. He saw what she was looking at and smiled at her.

"It's one way to fly."

It took her a few discernable moments for her to decide that might not be talking about the raptor. She managed a smile. That was the last thing she felt like doing, as Lee flew the raptor. She let herself zone out the chatter of the transponder, hearing Dee's forced voice. It didn't sound natural…she didn't want to think about Dee. Looking over she could tell Lee agreed when he shut off the transponder as soon as they had cleared the landing bay. It didn't take long to dock at the Rising Star; despite being smaller than Cloud Nine, it was preferable to nothing. Kara was again lifted into a readied wheelchair and they wheeled her through the pleasantly wide halls of the Rising Star. Stopping at a door, labelled 412. The door opened to reveal a nice sized room, with a large bed, with pull ropes, and a strange contraption installed into the ceiling, this Kara supposed was to make it wheelchair accessible. There were also a few nice chairs and what Kara decided was the bathroom. A woman in a uniform was blabbering on about the benefits of the room, and what time the physiotherapist would be in, the pool and so on. Lee wheeled her over to the bed. Sitting on it so that their faces were level. The woman was literally looking down at her and it was annoying, the medics were swarming in, Lee's face was an unreadable expression.

"Get out!" Kara said, louder than she had intended. The medics and the woman left closing the door, leaving a bag and a pamphlet behind them on the table.

"Do you want me to leave too?" His voice was surprisingly soft. His eyes hopeful, she could tell he hoped for a repeat performance of what had happened in sickbay. Kara realized at that moment that she did too, despite whatever consequences might ensue. Might as well, what else was she going to do anyways. If she couldn't have what she wanted, she could try to make Lee happy. Besides she couldn't stand the though of one of the medics helping her undress.

"No, I don't." She bit her lip. "Help me onto the bed." Kara unhooked the belt that held her in the chair.

Lee locked the door first, than went toward Kara who put her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder, as his arms went around her waist. Kara was not a fool, she knew that Lee had to exert energy to lift her, but he did, she moved her thighs to squeeze his waist, mostly just to hang on more securely. Her lower legs, hung mostly limp below her knees. Then she was placed on the bed gently. Lee went to lock the door and dim the lights. Kara sat herself up, and began to remove her own sweats; at least she could undress her upper body. She could feel Lee's waiting eyes on her as she removed her own bra, without any reaction, she lay back on the bed, partially dreading what she must ask him to do.

"Lee, my lower legs are pretty much immobile, it's difficult to undress myself, Cottle made me practise in sickbay." Kara closed her own eyes, knowing that undressing herself would be difficult. She'd hated having the medics dress her in sickbay.

Lee stood there thinking for a moment just how insecure and helpless Kara must feel, he responded by kissing her, making every attempt to undress her as a lover. Making trails of kisses across her body. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel like an invalid. He also pulled down the sheets on the bed, easing Kara into a more comfortable spot.

"Kara, if we do this, I might not be allowed to come back." Lee looked up and said very quietly.

"And what if we don't?"

"Still might be banned."

"I guess that answers that." Kara managed with a smiling expression, "We don't want to miss out, just in case." It went unsaid, what she so hated to say, that either of them could be dead tomorrow, Lee in combat, and her of a blood infection.

Lee returned to kissing her, rubbing his hands along her body slowly.

Kara closed her eyes, enjoying the attention, and making absolutely no noise when Lee bumped a scar, or one of her ankles, the last thing she wanted was to make him feel guilty. She heard a zipper, and the rustling of clothing, feeling his hands on her breasts, her legs, and her face.

"Open your eyes." Kara obliged, noticing the bed was soft, unlike the sickbay one, or the cold grass of New Caprica. She saw Lee coming towards her, she reached up and pulled him down on top of her, feeling the twinges of pain when he came in contact with the scars. His mouth found hers, while his hands wandered the rest of her body gently, then he came in contact with a scar on her side that brought a yelp of pain from Kara.

"Did I hurt you?" Lee backed off instantly.

"Don't stop."

"I don't want to hurt you Kara; did I hurt you last night?" Lee was worried by the thought of hurting her. They had both done enough to hurt each other before.

Kara reached up her own arms to pull Lee in closer, kissing him with more passion than she actually felt capable of at the moment, tangling her tongue with his. He responded, kissing his way down her neck slowly, he seemed so afraid of hurting her. She felt his readiness, and began to reassure him with slow tender kisses until slowly and tenderly, they made love to each other. Broken words of love were intermingled with gasps and moans. Finally, they both moaned loudly as they came, holding on to each other tightly. Lee rolled off of Kara, both of them drenched in sweat. They lay there for a moment, breathing heavily. Kara cautiously flipped herself over so she could rest her head on Lee's chest. Listening to the fierce beat of his heart, and his heavy breathing. She didn't have anything to say, other than to ask when he'd be leaving, and she didn't want to ask that, she wanted to stay in his arms, safe as long as possible, pretending they could stay that way, pretending he was hers.

"That was comfortable." Lee said softly, falling asleep underneath her. "Beats the grass and sickbay anytime."

Kara said nothing, but moved her arm so she could hold onto him, waiting for sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Lee awoke slowly, the room, of course was still dark, and wouldn't give any hint as to what time of day it was. Somehow, he assumed it was night. He blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the lack of light in the room. It didn't look like his bunk, then Lee remembered where he was, he brushed back the stray hairs from Kara's forehead. Feeling her warm weight against him, her head resting on his chest. He moved his arms gently, to hold here there on top of him, it felt right. Nothing had ever felt so right to Lee before. It took another few minutes of listening to Kara's steady breathing to think of Dee, specifically how she preferred to sleep nestled up alone on the other side of the bed or at least she did, back on Pegasus. A woman he couldn't even bear to look at, never mind talk to, it would be difficult, and he intended to put it off as long as possible. He pushed the thoughts of guilt out of his mind and concentrated on the smooth skin on Kara's back, the sheets were pulled down enough to expose it, and there wasn't enough light for Lee to see the scars across it.

Suddenly, Kara moaned in her sleep, she began to shake and her breathing quickened. Lee held her, preventing her from falling off of him, no he wouldn't let her go, "Kara, Kara wake up."

Her head shot up, still panting. "What's wrong?"

"I had this strange dream, like the one I had when I was on morpha."

"Morpha is known to produce hallucinations, I knew a guy who dreamt of floating above himself in the hospital."

"It was strange, that's all."

"Tell me, it has to be more than that."

"Lee, it's okay, really, it's just a frakking dream."

"Kara." He said insistently.

"Fine, in sickbay, I dreamt I died, and there was a goddess."

"A goddess?" Lee repeated with disbelief.

"And you were there," Kara cut herself off sharply. Giving the suggestion that she was leaving something out.

"And?"

Lee's questions met silence, then slowly she began to speak again, " She put my hand in yours," She confessed very quietly, "Right before I woke up, I was staring into my own eyes, I dreamt something similar, only this time the goddess was smiling."

"That is a weird dream." Lee whispered gently as he began to kiss Kara's neck, drawing her closer.

"You should go back." She told him softly.

"I want to stay."

"And you have to go, you shouldn't have fallen asleep Lee, it's probably been hours."

And with that Kara rolled herself off of Lee, and sat up, wordlessly. Lee got up and turned the lights on gently. He collected his clothes and Kara's, pulling on his boxers and pants before returning to the bed. He pulled on the rest of his clothes before handing Kara hers, and pulling on her pants, again he kissed her as he did so, attempting to soften the embarrassment.

"Is this it?" Lee asked as Kara pulled on her own shirt.

"Is this what?"

"The end," Lee paused for a moment, "Am I just supposed to go back to my job, get banned, sneak back whenever I can, hope that you recover quickly?"

"What would you suggest?"

"I don't know."

Lee felt broken, torn between duty and love. There was no third option; they'd have to make do. Kara must have seen his expression because she hugged him and kissed him, as if attempting to comfort him.

"I love you." Lee said, kissing Kara once more before leaving the room. Lee managed to backtrack through the mostly empty halls to the landing bay.

Back on the Galactica he faced stares as he climbed out of the raptor and made his way to the bunkroom. He was thankful he wasn't sharing a bed with Dee, as he climbed into his cold bunk. He wasn't tired, so he made his way to sit in mess, snacking on disgusting algae-bars.

She approached him from behind, "Lee, we need to talk."

Lee answered her with silence, refusing to meet her eyes, not being able to withstand the pain he saw reflected in them.

"Lee, I heard everything, you know that, I've been embarrassed in front of the entire fleet, you won't even look at me."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Look at me."  
Lee turned around slowly, seeing the pain and fury in her gaze was almost enough to make him turn around again, but he stood his ground. "And?"

"I want to make our marriage work, but to do that you have to make me a promise, promise me you won't go see Kara, and that you'll come and see a counsellor with me."

"This isn't about marriage, be honest, this is about you. I embarrassed you; I just had to say it Dee, that's what this is about, I love Kara." Lee saw the twitch of her facial muscles; she was trying so hard to retain her composure.

"No, you don't Lee, it's some sort of sick twisted passion, you can't get away from her; you have never been able to let go of her."

"Counselling won't cure it Dee, it can't be cured, you've said it before, and it's only a matter of time before Kara comes back into my life."

"Regardless, we are married, Kara is married, and this had to stop, now. She doesn't love you Lee, not like I do."

"Okay, so it stops, we separate."

"Separate?" Dee repeated with disbelief

"Yes, a prelude to counselling and divorce, you go your way, I go mine."

"How does that solve the problem?"

"How doesn't it?"

"We are still married." She repeated through gritted teeth, "I will not sign the papers, you'll come crawling back when she fraks someone new."

And with that Lee walked away from the safest relationship he had ever had. And right into his father.


	5. Chapter 5

Kara's physiotherapist arrived the next morning, not only was she totally hyper and over forty, she was a naturopath, stating clearly within the first hour of meeting Kara that she was forbidden to smoke or drink at anytime during her therapy. The woman's hair was liberally streaked with grey; but she skipped around the room with an ease that was enviable to those who could walk. It hurt, that was for sure. Her feet and ankles would have to be completely retrained to support her weight. She had to dig her nails into her own palms to prevent herself from crying as her muscles were manipulated. She didn't like to admit it; but she was getting stronger, better at lifting herself in and out of bed, becoming more capable at dealing with the situation, as her stupid therapist put it. The woman was insane. She skipped into Kara's room everyday and tortured her, while chatting happily about her own life, which Kara assumed was almost entirely fiction.

With nothing else to do Kara worked out most of the time, attempting to strengthen her muscles. The gym was accessible to physio patients and she made full use of it. At first she hung out in the bar, attempted to conjure booze from people, which failed, booze was hard to come by, and the only thing Kara was to trade was…not going to happen. Currently it wasn't worth it. She reassured herself as time passed. Lee didn't return, Racetrack transported her to and from sickbay for blood tests and as weeks turned into months she realized something was wrong, really wrong. It was too hot, it had been comfortable when she arrived, but the heat was practically unbearable. Part of having good reflexes was knowing one's own body. It was impossible she told herself, and yet had to remind herself of that each time a wave of nausea passed over her. Luckily, she never actually vomited. The blood tests weren't testing for hormones, and she was afraid to ask to test for them. She preferred it this way, not knowing for sure. It had been over two months; they had jumped away from the cylons at least twelve times. Lee hadn't even come once. She didn't know why, she knew he was still alive, and that was all. It likely had something to do with Dualla, had he been caught in a two-month fight? Or was he racked with guilt? The dreams never had lee in them now. But they were always there, the smiling goddess, and then looking into her own eyes. It confused her, but Artemis goddess of the hunt, was also the goddess of maidens and childbirth, the dreams must have something to do with this.

Kara used that frakking contraption, as she called it to lift herself into bed. She was pretty sure she'd uttered less that six syllables in the last week. Her therapist was threatening psychiatric help, but she knew the truth, if they hadn't already done it wasn't likely to happen. Her ankles, as usual were sore. It still took along time to undress herself, but she managed. She lay on the bed almost completely naked and slowly moved one of her hands to her stomach, fingering her stomach, wondering for a moment before grabbing the oversized t-shirt that her therapist has gotten for her and pulled it over her head. She still wasn't used not to sleeping in tanks.

She heard a knock at the door, "Damn therapists." She muttered, before yelling "Coming."

It took her a few moments to get out of the bed before wheeling herself to the door. When she pushed a button to open it Lee's eyes met hers, before she had the chance to say anything Lee had closed the door, dimmed the lights and picked her up out of the chair, heading for the bed. She heard whispers, "Missed you." And then a few kiss later, "Love you." Damn, Kara thought, as Lee kissed her passionately, she'd attempt to put together sentences in her head, such as why wasn't Lee acting like himself? Why was he not talking about feelings and love, before she could complete any thoughts she was naked, well she hadn't been wearing much to begin with, and Lee's hand were roaming, and inadvertently so were hers.

"Lee?" She asked him questioningly and he kissed her neck.

"Kara…" he moaned in response, kissing her with more fervor as his hands wandered into areas that made it increasingly difficult to talk or think. So she gasped instead.

She attempted to think of a response but was distracted as his hands wandered further. So she let it happen. She hadn't really wanted to talk to Lee so much at yell at him. Her muscles were stronger, strong enough that she surprised him when she rolled him over and leaned over him, letting her own knees support her weight. Moving her hands and vigorously removing his clothes. She had missed him, and if this is the way Lee wanted her to express it, well, it was certainly easier. She watched him with her eyes open as they made love. Moaning and gasping, but it was too fast, she realized after rolling off Lee to lie beside him.

"Kara, I'm really sorry."

"About staying away or…?" She let her voice trail off.

"Both, my dad banned me from raptor use, kept me on missions further away."

"Why?"

"He doesn't understand, he can't accept that I love you because of Zak."

"Oh."

"How have you been Kara? What's happened?"

"Not much, getting stronger, but still can't walk." Kara said very quickly rolling over onto her side facing Lee, "I'm pregnant." She said very quietly.

"No you're not Kara." He responded kissing her, "You couldn't be."

"Yes I am." She responded voice getting stronger.

"I'm pretty sure Doc Cottle would have said something stupid…"

"He doesn't know."

"How?"

"Blood tests vary, they aren't checking for the hormones associated with pregnancy."

"Then how do you know…" he caught himself, "Okay, stupid question…but it's been over two months that means…"

"Yeah, two months."

"Okay, we're going to Galactica."

"Why?"

"The right kind of blood test, besides this is scary Kara, what about physio? What about the cylon crap floating around in your blood stream." Lee sounded frantic as he pulled his clothes back on.

"Its dormant Lee, but I don't know." Kara leaned over and began to dress herself, when Lee came to close, she let him know, "I can dress myself Lee."

Kara didn't think she had ever traveled so fast in that chair as she did on the way to the raptor. This was about to get complicated.


	6. Chapter 6

Kara sat silently in the raptor looking over at Lee who muttered inaudibly. Her hand wandered once again to her stomach, feeling it gently, she was positive that it was just beginning to swell. Her breasts had been changing too, she was sure she wasn't imagining it. This was it. The raptor was landed smoothly in the deck, when it lurched beneath them Lee glanced over at Kara as if he expected her to explode. Lee lifted Kara out of the raptor and into the chair. They quickly made their way through the halls of Galactica, headed for the infirmary. They stopped right near the closest empty bed.

Doc Cottle looked at them curiously, "Now what?"

"Blood test right now!" Lee said gasping for breath.

"Pardon?"

"I'm pregnant, Lee wants to know for sure." Kara said simply, it was only the second time she's let herself say it and it still felt strange. Might as well get it over with quickly.

Doc Cottle rolled his eyes, pulling a preparing a needle to puncture Kara's arm, "You do know that stress can…" noticing Kara's expression he stopped talking and simply extracted blood from her arm, handing a vial to an amused looking medic. "The test will takes a while, how far along do you estimate you are?"

"Two months…" Lee stammered, after Kara remained silent for a few minutes too long.

"Captain Thrace?"

"Lee's right on."

"In sickbay?" The tone of his voice contained both amusement and exasperation. That is, if Doc Cottle was ever amused, he seemed especially grumpy, which is when Kara noticed he wasn't smoking. The question went unanswered, Doc Cottle continued, "That's unlikely, stress and injury. In weeks… that's over ten; shirt up Thrace."

Kara stared at him dumbfounded as Doc Cottle motioned for two medics to hoist her up onto one of the beds.

"Wait, the test isn't even done yet, what are you doing?" Lee asked.

"A physical examination, would you prefer I wait?" Doc Cottle grabbed a stethoscope from the table muttering under his breath.

Kara yelped, "Hey!" As he pressed first his hand and than a cold stethoscope to her bare stomach.

"Don't talk!" Cottle commanded adjusting the stethoscope lower, he grimaced after a moment pulled Lee over and put the stethoscope in his ears.

"What the frak is this?" Lee demanded, with a bemused expression on his face.

"Your child's heartbeat, it's detectable at ten weeks."

Kara stared at Lee before demanding, "Let me hear!" But Doc Cottle pulled away the stethoscope.

"This child puts your health at risk, interferes with your therapy and otherwise strains your body, should I schedule an abortion?"

"Isn't that illegal?" Lee asked in disbelief

"Yes, but we could attempt permission on the grounds it endangers the life of Captain Thrace."

"No." Kara said simply. Her mind raced through possibilities, falling short at a one-syllable answer.

Both Lee and Cottle looked at her in disbelief.

"I am not having an abortion." Kara stated more firmly, if this baby was a gift from the gods she wasn't about to kill it; that was against the will of the gods.

Lee looked at her in horror, "Kara, I won't lose you, if this baby…I can't live with that."

"Very well, this pregnancy is high risk, we will have to reconsider you remaining on the Rising Star; you need to stay close to proper medical facilities."

"So I get to stay on Galactica?" Kara asked hopefully.

"Possibly, if we can find a therapist willing to come to you." And with that Cottle wandered off for a moment, leaving Kara and Lee alone once more.

Lee looked like he'd swallowed his own tongue. Kara realized quickly that her mixed terror and excitement, especially about her dreams in relation to the baby paled to Lee's fear. She reached for his hand and Lee pulled her into a hug, a tight hug.

"Kara, I can't lose you, I can't." he murmured into her hair.

He held her closer; as if he could just hang on to her physically he could 'save' her. And she just clung to him, just seeking comfort for a moment. She heard Lee's heart speed up, and her own along with it.

Hearing footsteps, Kara looked up from Lee's shoulder, "Admiral." She loosened her arms slightly, but didn't let go of Lee. Lee still held her around her waist, but hadn't bothered to loosen his grip.

"You're looking better Kara, another test? How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright sir."

Lee looked from his father to Kara, "No Kara you're not fine."

Doc Cottle walked back into the room, "Results are positive, confirming the physical examination."

"Pardon?" Bill looked concerned, he seemed to notice his son was close to tears.

"Captain Thrace has put her own life in danger, and Major Adama helped." Cottle said waiting for his patient to fill in the Admiral.

"Sir, this is none of your business." Lee told his father calmly. Causing the perplexed expression on the Admiral's face to worsen.

"Actually, if Captain Thrace is returning to the Galactica for closer observation it is his business." Doc Cottle paused, waiting for Kara, giving her the option of informing the Admiral herself.

She took it, "I'm pregnant." She said it quietly, but loud enough, judging by the falling expression of the face of Admiral Adama.

"And Lee's the father." Bill Adama said quietly, "How bad is it?" he directed his next question to Doc Cottle.

"Might kill her, might not." Doc Cottle said simply, "It won't make learning to walk again easy. As for the baby…no guarantees."

At the thought of her baby dieing, Kara rested her head on Lee's shoulder, he responded instantly drawing her into his arms. She was frightened, but the gods gave her this child, they did so for a reason. Looking at Lee, she realized she might have to be strong for him as well as herself.

"I could talk to the President about altering the law, allowing for extenuating circumstances."

"She won't have an abortion." Lee said rubbing Kara's back slowly as he did so.

Admiral Adama paced slightly avoiding looking at Kara and Lee, "Would it be safer for Kara to remain on the Galactica? Could we have her therapist come here?"

"It might help, if something goes wrong, she has a better chance of living through it if she's here."

"Kara stays." He said simply, "Make it happen." And with that, Admiral Adama walked out of sickbay.

Doc Cottle led Kara and Lee to a largish room fairly close to sickbay. Guest quarters, Kara thought as she saw how comfortable the room had been made. It was not however nearly as nice as the room on the Rising Star, but she was on Galactica, she was home.

"I have CAP Kara, I'll see you soon." Lee gave her a lingering kiss before he left.

Kara managed to get herself on to the bed, after Doc Cottle left, with a warning to get some rest. She undressed, and as she did so remembered the terrified look in Lee's eyes, the way he held on. She'd rest, she decided, but only until Lee came back from CAP, he needed comfort even more than she did if that was possible.


	7. Chapter 7

Lee came in from his CAP, landing his viper and rushing through the paperwork. He couldn't concentrate in anything but Kara. He couldn't lose Kara, not after all they'd been through. Walking down the corridor to his rack, he changed his mind and headed for Kara's room. He entered the room, noticing Kara's eyes were closed looking peaceful. The covers on the bed were up kind of high, especially for Kara. He laughed slightly at what Kara would say if he knew that he liked to watch her sleep. He unzipped his flightsuit pulling it off as he kicked off his shoes. He was just going to hold her, he decided. He stripped to his boxers before lifting the covers to climb in with her. He dropped the covers back down. Kara was completely naked; he dropped the covers out of shock. Looking closer, he could tell Kara was really asleep. So Lee crawled in close next to her, pulling her against him, nestling her back against his chest.

Lee began to kiss Kara's neck, she moaned in her sleep. Then her eyes flickered open.

"Lee…" she said softly, snuggling in closer.

"My rack is overrated when you're here."

Kara hadn't really wanted to talk about it, but a worry was growing in the back of her mind. "Lee…you're not mad or upset or anything?" Her voice was so quiet, scared even. She betrayed too much emotion in her voice.

Lee held Kara closer, "I never thought about it, never let myself, you're the one who said bright shiny futures were overrated."

"I did?" Kara thought for a moment, than realized that she had, on a night she'd made a mistake, or almost did-she still wasn't sure which.  
"Yeah. The night…"

"I remember, the night before Kat took out Scar." Kara said softly, if only she had then…maybe things would have been better, or different.

Lee paused, wondering if it was safe to ask the rest of his question, "I wish…" Lee cuddled closer to Kara, holding her close to him

"No sense wishing Lee, I'm here with you now. We have this now." She finished firmly; damn this conversation was not going the way she planned.

"What if you die Kara? What if you die trying to have this baby?"

"What if everything goes well, and I have our baby, and we're both fine?" Kara countered. "No more 'what ifs.' Do you want this baby?" She repeated.

"I just want you." Lee paused.

Kara heard the fear in his voice this time, "Lee," she started as she pull one of his hands and pressed it between her hips, just where she was convinced her stomach was beginning to swell, "This is our child we're talking about."

"I know."

"We made our baby, and our baby is going to be fine."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I do, I believe the baby will be fine, don't you see it has to? I already picked out names." Kara tried joking.

Lee snorted a little, then quickly sobered, "But what about you…Kara…I…"

"It's okay Lee, I'm here remember?" Kara attempted to sooth him, rolling to face him, and cuddling closer. Kissing him gently until she felt his body relax.

"I do want this baby." Lee whispered quietly. It felt like admitting a long suppressed fantasy involving him, Kara and a few little kids out on a nice beach somewhere. Which was of course, he'd never dreamed anything of the sort, at least not that he'd ever admit to.

Kara felt her heart jump a little, "Me too." She responded. Was it true? She wasn't sure, it was frightening having a child, but she'd make it work.

"But only with you."

"Last time I checked it was me having the baby Lee."

Lee let himself smile, they could play this pretend nothings wrong game, "Did you really pick put names?'

"Well, no, actually…" Kara pulled back so she could look into his eyes, letting her own close sleepily.

Lee smiled and held her close, "I'm tired and you need sleep."

"I know." Kara murmured.

So they fell asleep, Kara first, Lee lay awake longer worrying then he too fell asleep.

She was standing in light, being led by strong arms towards something, her own eyes looked at her from everywhere, delicate fingers trapped her own in strong grips.

There were many this time, gods surrounding her, touching her. The remnants of the dream faded, light and dark flashes, Kara mused at the strangeness of if before falling asleep one more, being careful not to disturb Lee.

When Kara awoke the next morning Lee was gone. And Doc Cottle was clapping loudly to wake her.

"I want to do more tests, sample the fetal blood, an ultrasound, the works. Get up Thrace."

Kara grumbled as she dressed herself quickly as possible. And was wheeled back to sickbay. She wondered if this is what the rest of her pregnancy would be like, more strange dreams, visions and tests. The medics moved her to an examination table, closing the curtains and preparing her for the tests, they did their work silently, must have been warned, Kara

Kara was quiet when they stuck a needle in her to collect a sample of fetal blood, she looked away until the needle was removed and the sting subsided.

She continued to look away from the doctor and medics as the ultrasound was begun. Should she look? She wasn't sure if she wanted to. It would make it all too real.

"Gods…" Doc Cottle mused quietly, "Thrace, look at this."

Kara slowly turned her head towards the monitor, on the screen there were two separate shapes, she could see the outlines of two separate heads, two separate babies nestled inside her. She just looked at them, her children. They looked like creatures from a horror movie on the sonogram.

"Well, you did have high HCG levels, twin pregnancies usually run about 35 weeks on average, and can have complications, I was already planning to induce if you make it to 37 weeks. The fetal blood work will be a pain though."

Doc Cottle shut off the machine and went to go pester the medic that had taken the blood for analysis.

Kara's hand went to her stomach again, she hadn't considered this… What the hell would Lee think?

Kara continued to wait, falling asleep in sickbay.

Doc Cottle woke her up much later, "We sorted through the fetal blood work, fraternal twin, a boy and a girl."  
"Oh." Kara couldn't think of anything else to say.

"This is bizarre -"

Kara stated blankly, "Tell me why it's bizarre."

"Your ovaries released two eggs while you were injured and in stress, the chances of that happen is very improbable."

"I have both my ovaries?" Kara asked quietly. Another lie.

"Of course." Doc Cottle responded obviously not catching the confusion in her voice, "Even more improbably they were fertilized and you told no one when you began to suspect you were pregnant."

"Well that was my choice." Kara replied.

"What if Major Adama hadn't visited you when he did?"

Kara decided to answer honestly, "You still wouldn't know I was pregnant, I guess you would have guessed when I started to show."  
Doc Cottle muttered as he walked away, '"The therapist is coming with a walker, she'll stay until you can use it, we have to get you back on your feet ASAP."

"Great." Kara responded sarcastically.

"And you better cooperate, I don't want to have to say this again."

Over six weeks later… 

Kara made her way slowly through the halls of the Galactica with a walker. A large grey sweatshirt hid the small bulge; she didn't need to deal with people noticing that too, luckily the walker seemed to work as a distraction. Only three people knew she was pregnant, not counting a few medics who couldn't tell anyone anyways.

She hadn't talked to anyone, not really. Her vocabulary seemed to have reduced itself to one-word answers, except with Lee. He wouldn't stand for it. She entered the bunkroom, only to see a familiar man sitting on her bunk.

"Hello Kara."

"Sam." Kara responded automatically, how many months had it been since she'd seen him? What was he doing here? She still didn't understand why he kept coming back to her. She knew how she treated him, and the result shouldn't be this.

"They told me you were injured, so you're getting better than?"

"Yeah."

"It's good to see you."

Kara slowly moved towards her bunk, and sat down pushing the walker out of the way. " It's good to see you too." She'd never been a master of small talk; chances are this was not going to go well. Kara panicked slightly as Sam moved closer.

Sam pulled her into a tight hug; "We need to talk-" He stopped abruptly. Sam backed up slowly, forcing her to meet his eyes. Sam's hands moved towards her stomach, seeking some sort of confirmation of what he thought he'd felt.

"No, we don't." She responded, as Sam lifted up her sweatshirt to reveal the small bulge stretching out the fabric of the tanks she was wearing.

"Mine?"

"No." Kara looked away, she didn't want to have to meet the eyes of her seriously mistreated husband.

"Then it's over." Sam got up and left, "I shouldn't have come here."

Kara watched him leave, only then noticing Hotdog's bunk wasn't empty; her secret was out.


	8. Chapter 8

Kara awkwardly made her way to Admiral Adama's office, it was so much harder knowing people were staring, whispering behind her back. She knew they whispered about the baby, they didn't know it was twins at least. They also whispered about Sam, and how she'd been sharing the CAG's bed for the past month. It's not like she was getting any, she thought angrily, Lee had rarely touched her since finding out she awas pregnant. He looked at her like she might keel over at any minute, which wasn't far from the truth according to Doc Cottle. The cylon compound in her blood stream had increased in concentration due to the hormones and they weren't sure exactly what they were doing in the first place.

Bill opened the door, "Please sit down Kara."

"You wanted to see me sir?" Kara kept up the military pretence; even as her swollen stomach pressed out against her tanks. She had resolved to tell him the truth.

"I wanted to talk to you Kara."

"About Lee?"

"About Zak," Bill took off his glasses at sat on the couch next to her, "Did you love him Kara?"

Kara froze, she herself had been trying to answer this question, she'd never told Zak that she loved him, never told Sam either. "I did."

"What about Lee?"  
"It's different with Lee, more intense, harder to shake."

"How can you love them both?"

"I don't know, from the beginning with Lee, it was always…"

"But they were brothers."

"I know, don't you think I've thought about this? It's been on my mind for years, why do you think I pushed Lee away? Am I betraying Zak? Did I betray him years ago when I fell in love with Lee?"

"I love you and Lee like my children, both of you, it's disturbing that…"

"Try not to think about it?" Kara suggested jokingly, "I know Lee wonders if I-"

"Compare them?" Bill looked away.

"I don't, I love Lee and-"

Kara was cut off by a tight hug, "I respect it, even if I don't like it."

It was going to take time, but it was going to be okay.

Kara moved toward Lee aggressively as soon as he got out of the shower, everyone knew now what was the point of sneaking around like they were ashamed? She caught him in a deep kiss. Running her hands over his damp back. "I love you." She whispered in his ear, believing herself more than anything.

"I love you too." Lee kissed back with tenderness, "But-"

"Cottle said it's fine…" Kara resumed her passionate attack on his body, licking his lips with her tongue and guiding him onto her rack, ripping of his clothes as she went, yanking down his pants to his knees.

"Kara you have to stop, cause I can't." Lee murmured in between kisses placed on her neck, one hand reaching for her breasts.

"No chance." Kara managed to gasp out as on of Lee's hands dove for her thighs, pulling off her pants and yanking down her underwear in fury.

Kara lowered herself onto Lee, straddling him. He grabbed for her hips and dug in his fingers as she began to move, they found their rhythm easily.

They cried out together when they reached their joined climax, and Kara fell asleep on Lee's naked chest.

She dreamed again that night more vividly than ever before. She saw the gods, all covered in light. They touched her stomach and murmured words she couldn't quite hear. than to burning in fire. Pain and crying babies. Then wrapped in Lee's warm embrace. Then sinking deep in water, sinking deep until she saw it and realization hit her like lightning as she sunk deeper towards the light and-

Kara woke up gasping for breath, she finally understood, she knew what she had to do.


	9. Chapter 9

Kara shifted uncomfortably in her bunk, other living arrangements were being made, but it was a slow process. And the dream that had revealed so much left her lacking in sleep. She shifted against Lee's warm body; he was just beginning to rouse.

"Hey Starbuck!" A familiar voice shouted at her through her curtained bunk.

"Yeah Hotdog?"

"Whose kid are you having?"

At this point Lee woke up and began to open the curtain, first covering himself and Kara adequately with a blanket.

"Have to think about it, eh Starbuck?" Racetrack added in.

"Whoa!" Hotdog jumped away from the bunk after finally noticing the naked CAG in bed with her, "Umm…"

"Guess that answers that." Racetrack muttered before biting into a particularly unappetizing algae bar.

"That's right," Lee looked straight at both of them, "And I don't want to hear of either of you bothering Starbuck about our babies again."

"Babies?" Hotdog repeated it not quite sinking in.

"Oh god, we're in for multiples!" Showboat giggled from behind her curtain, "Oh damn, I have CAP."

Kara felt a dull ache, a physical pain for flying, she'd need to try to fly again, it was necessary, as soon as she had these babies she needed to go.

Kara breathed hard as Doc Cottle injected her with some drug to speed up her labour, for the fifth time in the past two hours. She was almost 36 weeks. She had it all planned, until today when high blood pressure had taken control. And labour had been artificially induced.

She screamed again, standing bracing herself against the bed. She heard some noises and loud voice over the COM, a cylon attack? She was in frakking labour and there was a cylon attack? Luck was certainly not on her side. Not today.

As the pain eased she panted hard, and calmed herself down.

A medic was standing nearby with some forms, "Fleet birth certificates," She explained setting them down out of the way, "You picked names yet?"

"Yes." Kara said pacing the floor around the bed, keep moving is what Cottle told her to do; she wouldn't get pain meds unless she had to. Unfortunately her attempts to swindle them had only earned her a few grimaces. She absently watched Lee run from the room, and sighed.

She didn't remember anything except pain, until Lee returned, all sweaty from the flight to watch the birth of his daughter.

Kara screamed again, not anything specific, just a low noise of agony and effort.

Lee stared in wonderment until a medic tapped his shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Oh, Kara, almost there." He said encouragingly, though funnily there were tears in his eyes. If anyone had the right to cry it was her.

The she heard the cry, the tiny wail of her daughter.

Cottle held up the girl, and handed her to a medic to be cleaned as Kara laboured on. The little boy made his entrance minutes later, crying even louder.

"Never again." Kara panted as the Doctors began to clean up. Lee handed her their daughter, Kara noticed the dark hair first, as she held the baby. She looked at Kara, who looked straight back. Something in Kara's throat caught, this was going to be hard; she'd put it off. Lee was holding their son, his hair seemed to be blond like hers; both stared up at her with blue eyes.

"They're so beautiful. They both have my eyes." Lee smiled, "So now are you going to tell me what you're going to name them now?"

"All babies have blue eyes." Cottle grumbled as he cleaned up near Kara's legs.

"She'll be Demetrie Thrace, he'll be Jason Adama." Kara said firmly.

'Thrace?"

"Yes, but Jason has your name."

"No, they're both Adamas."

"But we're not married Lee." Kara smiled in exhaustion, "You never even asked."

"But I'm there father."

"Says who?" Kara snickered slightly, "I'm just kidding Lee." She finished after the chilling look Lee had give her.

"They're Adamas I don't want any odd comments or…"

Doc Cottle leaned over with a needle and stabbed it firmly into her thigh, "An immune booster, that cylon crap is at terrifying levels Thrace, and I'm also trying to round up some antibiotics for you, finally I can do my job."

"Fine, they're Adamas…" Kara let her voice trail off, "Gods, I never thought this would be so…"

"Beautiful?" Lee suggested almost teasingly, "Motherhood's a good look on you Kara."

"Painful, exhausting, time consuming…and beautiful." Kara paused to run her finger along her tiny foot. There was no way she could go through with it now. At this moment there were only three people in the universe Kara Thrace could think of, and they were all in this room. Destiny would have to wait. She did need time to get in shape. And there were two new beings in the universe; that needed their mother.

She stood holding her month-old son swaddled and held against her chest.

The priestess spoke, "With this mark, we dedicate Jason William Thrace Adama to the service of Hermes and Apollo. May he prove worthy of their blessings and those of mighty Zeus. So say we all."

"So say we all." They responded automatically.

The priestess turned her attention to their daughter, cuddled close against Lee, "With this mark, we dedicate Demetrie Artemidora Thrace Adama to the service of Artemis and Demeter. May she prove worthy of their blessings and those of mighty Zeus. So say we all."

"So say we all." Kara and Lee responded.

It had been a makeshift dedication ceremony, but Kara had firmly insisted they follow the tradition, she had already begun to whisper stories of the gods to her children.

Even as they begun to receive the same shots as their mother, also infected with whatever that cylon crap was.

Doc Cottle had insisted it was a precaution, but Kara knew better.

Kara eased the weights up and down in the gym breathing heavily. It had been so long since she had had a minute alone. With Lee and the babies she had so much to do. Tonight was the night, she's been cleared to fly raptors, and with a bit more work she might be cleared for vipers again.

She showered quickly and went to retrieve her children from the crèche. Placing her daughter in sling around her front, and one of the 'childcare attendants' or rather another mother helped her carry Jason home.

They were already nine months old, and Kara had put it off long enough, tonight she had to leave. It broke her heart.

Demetrie crawled around the floor playing with the few toys they had managed to.

Kara put Jason down after he wriggled in her grasp and cried.

And that was the difference between her children, Demetrie was so content and calm, it was difficult to believe she was hers. Jason was more demanding. Perhaps it had to do with his health. He had received nearly as much of the medication that Kara had. Demetrie was healthy.

"Demetrie, come sit with Mommy." Kara called softly, "Mommy has a secret."

Demetrie babbled slightly and crawled towards Kara, who pulled her child into her lap and kissed her head of dark curls. Two pairs of beautiful green eyes met. Her own eyes in the dream had been Demetrie's, she understood that now. Admiral Adama insisted that the hair was just like his mother's. Jason's tuft of white-blond hair set off his blue eyes perfectly, he crawled swiftly over to his mother and sister, a small blue stuffed dog in hand.

"Jason, you want to listen too?"

And Kara whispered into their tiny listening ears exactly what she had to do, and how much she loved them both.

Lee returned that night, as Kara was nursing their children. At first it had bemused him to watch Kara become such an attentive mother, even though the past few months she had been on edge.

"Hey Lee." She called over very casually, looking up from her hungry offspring.

Later that night she made love to Lee so tenderly and with such abandon. Every kiss, every touch had been perfect.

In the morning she was gone.

Lee panicked, his children were still fast asleep, but Kara was gone, and left beside him in their double bunk was a picture, a picture of the Eye of Jupiter…


	10. Chapter 10

Lee didn't think, he ran. His father, who was wearing a very saddened and disturbed expression, stopped him.

"Kara disappeared Lee, she took a raptor for a run and never came back. She disappeared off DRAIDIS a few hours ago."

"No."

"Yes, do you know why?"

"No, we have..." Lee struggled for words. He gave up on words and let himself be embraced by his father. Who also seemed to be struggling against an odd restraint.

"Are Demetrie and Jason asleep?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but I know Kara. And she wouldn't have left them if she didn't have a damn good reason."

Lee let out an odd strangled sob.

"She'll be back, she'll be back Lee." Bill repeated, as if he wanted desperately to believe it. "If she was going for good Demetrie and Jason would be gone too."

"That's true." Lee managed, "But what if she didn't jump. What if?"

"Don't say it. Have hope."

Hope became harder to have as weeks passed. Some of the other moms on the Galactica offered to nurse Demetrie and Jason, until they could be successfully weaned. They were fussy, they both cried more; they missed Kara. Bill and Laura conceded to watching the children for Lee. Looking at families made him sick to his stomach. Even the sight of Cally and the Chief walking little Nicholas down the corridor made Lee feel like keeling over. Noticing how Cally's belly was swelling with child again nearly made him cry. At first he rotated between avoiding and clinging to his children. Then Jason got sick. Lee ran to sickbay to see his son sitting on a hospital bed crying as a few medics attended to him.

"Odd," One medic remarked, "Jason means healer."

Another medic glared, "It's not funny." He told the first medic as he administered an antibiotic to the crying child.

Lee remembered inadvertently a much happier moment, when he had been cuddling with Kara picking names. Or trying too, she had insisted on Demetrie and Jason. "What does Demetrie mean?"

The medic looked at him quizzically, "Something like devotee of Demeter, goddess of the harvest, crops, fertility, spring…stuff like that."

Kara had picked names for their children deliberately. Lee realized, Jason the healer. Their daughter Demetrie named after the goddess of the harvest, fertility, spring and with it new life. She had known, Lee realized.

Jason recovered well. Lee settled into a new routine of duty and work. His children remained a bittersweet joy in his life. Especially with Demetrie looking more and more like Kara as time passed. His son's white blond hair was a constant reminder of what was missing. What they were missing. What Kara was missing. Demetrie and Jason's first birthday. Their unsteady first steps. His children's babblings forming into words. Calling himself Daddy in hope that his children would follow suit. Even more strangely listening to his father and the president of the colonies calling themselves Grandpa and Grandma. Lee sternly forced his brain away from contemplating any additional implications of this. Sometimes time dragged on forever, sometimes it raced. Kara was never far from his thoughts. It went unsaid between him and his father, they were both confident Kara was dead. And before he knew it six months had passed. The president was always hassling him about spending time with his children, and then proceeded to have them brought to Colonial One where she could play with them. It took Lee hours to track them down. Kara would have laughed so hard at that… And time began to race again.

Then very early on morning…

Lee felt himself being shook in his sleep.

"Lee." He heard a familiar voice, and knew it was her.

"Kara."

"They've grown so much." Kara bit her lip, "I thought maybe they'd remember me, silly huh?"

"I don't know. What did you expect Kara?" Lee felt relief and anger surfacing at once.

"Not to be kept so long, I didn't know how much time had passed… The old man was afraid to tell me when he realized I didn't know." Kara's tearstained face came closer as she lay on the bed next to Lee.

"Cylons?"

"Yeah, I've already been debriefed. I'll tell you later." Kara knelt down next to the low bed, bringing herself eye level with Demetrie, who was sleeping soundly.

"I told them about you, we all did."

"She looks more like me." Kara breathed, "They both do."

Lee felt at a loss for words. He had hoped for so long that Kara would come back. And now that she was, what came next? "They're fifteen months old Kara."

"I thought maybe two or three months, not six." Kara began to cry. "Will they still love me?"

Lee pulled her into his arms, "It'll be okay." Lee kissed her tenderly, "We'll take a few weeks off, be a family, they'll love you again." Lee's anger at Kara had been forgotten as soon as he saw her cry.

"The cylons don't know they exist… It took them ages to realize that I'd had a baby. I managed to convince them my baby died when they interrogated me."

"Why?"

"They had an unhealthy interest." Kara replied, "They'd want my children."

"Why?"

"Because I have a destiny, and so do they."

"What's that?"

"We'll have to wait and see, mine's already been written, theirs' too."

Lee shivered slightly as Kara slipped under the blankets next to them.

"I love you Lee."

"I love you too." Lee replied, and then on impulse he kissed her again.

"Do you still want to marry me?"

"Yes."

"Good, I'm all yours." Kara kissed him again, "Because monogamy and family life are beginning to sound very good to me. Cylon basestars; not fun."

"What about the destiny?"

"Our children are going to grow up on Earth." Kara replied. And kissed Lee again before he could sort out exactly what she had said.

FIN


End file.
